Spotlight on May Bugenhagen, Founder of Two Asian Matchmakers
After more than 17 years as a matchmaker, I’ve had the privilege of helping thousands of singles navigate modern dating and build meaningful relationships. Over the years, I’ve been asked many questions about matchmaking, dating in Los Angeles, and what it really takes to find a lasting partnership.
Here are some of the questions I hear most often.
Why did you become an Asian matchmaker?
I became a matchmaker because I genuinely believe there is a better way to meet people than relying solely on dating apps and chance encounters.
Throughout my career, I’ve met incredible women who are accomplished, kind, relationship-minded, and looking for genuine partnership. I’ve also met many successful men who want the same thing but struggle to find compatible partners through traditional dating channels.
I saw an opportunity to create a more personal, intentional, and dignified way for people to meet.
As a matchmaker, I help bridge that gap by introducing clients to people they may never have crossed paths with otherwise. My role is to carefully screen, vet, and curate introductions so my clients can focus on building a connection rather than spending countless hours searching.
I truly believe life is richer when you have someone special to share it with, and helping people find that connection continues to be one of the most rewarding parts of my work.
What did you do before becoming a matchmaker?
Before launching Two Asian Matchmakers, I spent years in the corporate world working for a Fortune 500 company.
Interestingly, many of the skills I used then are the same skills I use today. My background included recruiting, interviewing, coaching, and evaluating people, all of which translate naturally into matchmaking.
The difference is that instead of helping companies find the right employees, I now help individuals find meaningful relationships.
Of course, matchmaking also requires intuition, emotional intelligence, and an understanding of human connection. Those are skills that become stronger with experience.
Do you believe in love at first sight?
I often say I believe in “like at first sight.”
Physical attraction certainly plays a role in dating, and first impressions matter. When people are excited about someone they meet, they naturally become more engaged, attentive, and present during the conversation.
What I believe is even more important, however, is how you show up on a date.
One of the qualities I admire most is when someone remains kind, respectful, and genuinely interested in getting to know another person, regardless of whether immediate chemistry exists.
A great dater understands that every date is an opportunity to practice communication, curiosity, and connection.
I often remind my clients that relationships are built over time. Attraction may open the door, but compatibility, shared values, and emotional connection are what help relationships last.
Who is your ideal client?
I typically work with successful, relationship-minded men who are ready to prioritize finding a life partner.
Many of my clients are professionals, entrepreneurs, executives, physicians, consultants, engineers, and business owners. They are financially stable, emotionally mature, and serious about building a long-term relationship.
Most are between their mid-30s and 60s.
What they often have in common is that they are busy, value their time, and have grown frustrated with modern dating. Many have spent years on dating apps and are looking for a more intentional approach.
The women in our network are equally impressive. They are accomplished, relationship-minded, feminine, confident, and looking for meaningful partnerships built on mutual respect, shared values, and genuine compatibility.
How do you meet and recruit quality singles?
One of the advantages of being in this industry for many years is that my network continues to grow through trusted relationships and referrals.
I meet wonderful women through professional networks, social events, charitable organizations, referrals, community connections, and introductions from people who know our work.
Many women also join our network directly through our website.
Most of the men who become clients discover us online, through referrals, or through recommendations from friends and colleagues who have worked with us in the past.
I’ve always believed that referrals are one of the greatest compliments a business can receive. When clients trust us enough to recommend our services to people they care about, it reinforces the value of the work we do.
What is the most challenging part of being a matchmaker?
Every client is unique, which is part of what makes matchmaking both challenging and rewarding.
One area that often requires additional support is helping someone build confidence after years of dating frustrations, a divorce, or difficult relationship experiences.
Sometimes a client simply needs guidance, encouragement, or a new perspective.
I enjoy helping people recognize their strengths and become more confident communicators and daters. Watching someone grow throughout the process and ultimately build a successful relationship is one of the most fulfilling aspects of my work.
Is it difficult to be single in Los Angeles?
Dating can be challenging in any city, including Los Angeles.
What I’ve learned over the years is that mindset plays an enormous role in dating success.
The singles who tend to have the best experiences are those who remain open, optimistic, and willing to meet people outside their usual expectations.
On the other hand, cynicism and frustration can create barriers that make dating much harder than it needs to be.
Los Angeles offers incredible opportunities to meet people from diverse backgrounds, cultures, and experiences. The key is approaching the process with curiosity, patience, and a positive attitude.
What advice would you give to single people in Los Angeles?
One of the biggest mistakes I see is people becoming so focused on their careers that they stop making time for relationships.
Finding a meaningful partnership rarely happens by accident. Like any important goal, it requires intention and effort.
My advice is simple:
Continue putting yourself in situations where you can meet new people.
Say yes to opportunities.
Remain open-minded.
Go on dates, even when someone doesn’t perfectly match the image you’ve created in your mind.
Some of the happiest couples I’ve worked with began as introductions neither person initially expected.
For men, I encourage continuous personal growth. Develop your interests, improve your communication skills, stay socially engaged, and approach dating with confidence and curiosity.
For women, I encourage openness. Sometimes the person who becomes your life partner arrives in a package you didn’t anticipate.
Ultimately, finding love is not about perfection. It’s about connection, compatibility, and being willing to give someone the chance to surprise you.